Not sure exactly when it happened but this wave of exhaustion hit me one day and I had no choice but to pull the car over. I leant my head against my arm and woke up ten/fifteen minutes later, dribbling, disorientated and with a head full of cotton wool. Since that day I’ve become more no more reliant on my nananaps, especially after food.
Now I’ve got it down, eat, wrap up warm so I’m in that snuggly cocoon of heat that entices the nananap forth and within seconds I’m off. Quite often I don’t strictly need one but if I’m in the middle of writing it’s nice to luxuriate in that magical place on the edge of sleep where the imagination can fly for as long as I can manage to put off the inevitable as the heat builds and the mixture of a full belly and concentration work their magic until, eventually…zzzzzz: beautiful. The best of all sleeps.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy a night-time sleep but I’m certain something’s going on to disturb me (pee pee?) cause I rarely feel refreshed unless I go for the twelve/thirteen hour monster but then that can go either way. The great thing is that if the sleep-proper doesn’t work the nananap can pretty much guarantee whatever is lost at night can be made up enough for me to make it through my day.

Sedentary…a word no-one except English scholars had heard of until recently and now one of the phrases most overused by pocketbook philosophers everywhere.
“Oh, it must be down to your sedentary lifestyle.”
“Oh it’s probably due to your sedentary occupation.”
What word did these asses use before the sudden climb up the popularity tree of sedentary? I don’t know if there is an equivalent but it’s not as though civil servants; checkout girls; business people; bankers etc, have ever had anything other than sedentary jobs.
Maybe it’s because suddenly everyone’s trying to explain the obesity thing.
Yes, well; eat too much and you put on weight fatty, simple.
Saying that, at the time my nananap addiction became noticeable I had recently finished a three month stint of long-distance driving (airport runs) now that IS sedentary.
Combine sedentary, concentration, high speed and night time driving and you have? One of the most dangerous occupations for a fat old lazy ass you could ever wish to find, although at the time I was doing it I was a skinny little donk. Explain that!

Anyway, now I’m a great fan.
I seriously don’t believe I’d be capable of doing a ‘normal’ job again unless there was a written obligation to allow me my nananaps throughout the day and if they happen to impinge on my ability to do the job, well: tough. Better that than a job badly done or not done at all because stroppy tired boy got a moody on and told the manager to ‘shove your job up your doodleoodleoo.’

I watched an old boy nodding off in TK Maxx yesterday and saw a frightening vision of myself in a few years. He was sat upright, leaning on his stick and nodding out; well, unless he was drunk but guys of that age usually can’t drink any more due to all the heart medication, anusol, high cholesterol etc etc so it’s bound to be the nananap catching up with him.
Imagine that? You can’t even make it round the shops without feeling the need for a little rest and a few minutes sleep and screw anyone who’s watching…brilliant. Frankly I can’t wait.

Sorry if your name’s not Frankly


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